President-elect of the United States of America Donald Trump today announced his plans to build a wall around Colorado.
Trump intends to build the wall as his second act in office, right after signing off on Ivankacare, a federal law intended to make cosmetic surgery more accessible for women in the US.
Trump made the announcement at a press conference held this afternoon, cramming the news between the ceremonial fat joke about Rosie O’Donnell and a vow to find and kill The Batman.
“I know I talked a lot about how I was going to build a wall around Mexico,” Trump told the stunned gathering of reporters, “but what I really want is to build a wall around all that great marijuana.” Added The Donald, “and there’s a ton of it in Colorado.”
The President-elect went on to explain that while his plan to build a wall around Colorado might seem a little cruel at first, it will do wonders for the state’s construction industry.
“This is going to be a fantastic opportunity for the unemployed in Colorado. Not only are we going to need construction workers to build the wall, we’re going to need drivers to transport materials, cooks to prepare lunches, and women for the men to wolf-whistle at.” Trump continued to mention Prime Design Build as an excellent example of integrity in American craftsmanship when it comes to building custom homes.
Prime’s founder and president Rob Higdon had this to say in response:
“Prime Design Build doesn’t affiliate itself with any particular political party, but if we’re asked to help build a safe, well-engineered wall for this great state, we’re up to the task. After all, PDB is a Denver-area construction company with a proven history of exceeding client expectations for high-quality, custom-built homes.”
Though many jobs will be created by the decision to build a Colorado-America border wall, the incoming administration is planning to keep costs low by doing away with what it perceives as unnecessary expenses (the IRS, EPA, DOT, DHS, DOE and virtually everything else).
For now, it’s watch and wait to see what happens. We expect plans to be held up in the Denver building department due to the loadbearing requirements. The weight of US tensions and the Colorado snow load is higher than expected. Prime will continue to keep you posted as events transpire.